What do you do if you don’t happen to be part of a huge social network of friends and meddling family members? Or you’ve already cut a swath through your entire social circle? Or you just moved to a new city? Well, open your eyes and look around. Half the country is single (49.6 percent of all households, according to an August 2004 census report) so you can pretty much figure that at least half of the people around you are too. Unfortunately, the first thing most of us do when we spot someone we’d like to meet is walk right up and. . . avoid them. After all, they’re probably seeing someone. Or they’re married. With a couple of kids. And a huge drinking problem. And debt—lots and lots of debt.
“Instead of making an attempt to flirt with people they’re attracted to, most people will just make a list of excuses,” says David Wygant, author of Always Talk to Strangers (2005). “A woman will be in line at a Starbucks and she’ll spot a good-looking guy, but instead of talking to him, she’ll say, ‘Oh, he looks busy, he’s probably married, he may be unstable.’ People will look for every possible excuse just to make themselves feel better for not taking a chance.” Why? Because we’re wimps.
“Everybody suffers from the same disease,” says Wygant. “Everybody has this fear of strangers. But strangers are the ones who hold the key to your dating future.”
Rather than freezing people out, Wygant suggests finding some small way to flirt with them instead. In fact, he promotes flirting with everyone and everything we come in contact with— men, women, children, even pets. Does that mean we all have to go out there and start doing the Legally Blonde “bend and snap”? Or turn into relentless mate-hunting machines?
Not at all. It just means we need to pull that antisocial stick out of our ass—at least partway.
“People need to lighten up, start smiling at each other,” says Wygant. “They need to go out there and do some verbal batting practice.”
When and where should we be doing all this practice? Everywhere. Every when.
|
